For years I’ve seen smash cake photos of cute babies turning one.  I’ve always wanted to do them with my kids but with planning their parties it just never got done. Then I came across some adult smash cake pics and I was so very amused!  I made a mental note that it would be fun some day. Well I was coming up on 30 and I just wasn’t interested in planning a party or even a dinner with friends. My husband had been at a clinical site out of town and only home on weekends. I was low on energy, time, and creativity. But I knew if I didn’t do something memorable for my 30th I would look back and be disappointed. It’s usally kind of a busy chaotic week because my birthday comes shortly after Independence Day. Hubby happened to have a two week break in school before leaving OUT OF STATE for his next clinical site.  So when I would think about my birthday and what I wanted to do I keep thinking about doing a smash cake photoshoot and wanted to do something fun with my family that would be out of the norm. It took a little convincing, but my husband came around to the idea of taking me, all three kids, and our beloved babysitter wake boarding and tubing on the lake. Wake boarding is right up there with horsebackriding as my two favorite things!

The photoshoot was further outside of my norm than wake boarding. You have to understand I have been buckled down focused on raising these littles and doing my best to not just survive this CRNA program but thrive through it.  It has been incredibly challenging.  I haven’t always had time for me.  Little luxuries like going to grocery store alone.  Or taking an evening trip Target to stroll the isles when the kids are in bed and hubby is home relaxing had not been options.  My reserve energies were maxed out.  My social energies were critically low.  So goal number one while hubby was on break was just to relax and do nothing.  And after that, you know, once boredom starts to kick in, I knew what I need in life is something fun to spark enjoyment of life!  So even though the idea of doing a shoot for myself – not my kids- was embarrassing I decided to do it and not over think it!

Turning 30 has had a strange affect on me. I feel as though I needed to prove my maturity in my twenties and was careful to be appear childish from the outside – likely because I felt like a teenager half the time. Super weird to have three kids and feel like a kid half the time, just sayin’. But through a lot of counseling, to be honest, and time with Jesus, I have gained a lot more confidence. Rounding the corner to 30 was not depressing or scary to me I was actually really excited to have my age stand for my maturity and not feel like I had to prove myself anymore. I know that isn’t everyone’s experience.

A lot of my people say turning 30 made them feel old. But for me it was the opposite. At 28 I wondered if I would feel like I would match my age by 30.  Now it’s here and I don’t feel like I do exactly, but the difference is I’ve stopped caring. It’s so freeing! So that is why I felt like I could dress like a kid, wear on a crown, throw some confetti and eat my own little cake!

I hadn’t had photos taken of just me since senior pictures so when the time came I was a bit nervous. My sister in law did my hair and I loved it (and the awesome chalkboard pictured)!  I ran out of time do do my makeup super awesome, but that’s the beauty of Maskcara, it’s super quick and easy. It just felt a little vulnerable to be the only subject in the photos. Feeling afraid and doing it anyways has been the theme of the year 2017 in my journey to becoming fearless. So if you’re hesitating to do a shoot like this for yourself I highly recommend it! It’ll be good for you xoxo!

P.S. My hubby secretly planned a surprise birthday party for me that was really awesome!!!